You Are Not Me (Tú no eres yo) understands the anxiety of holiday family gatherings. It weaponizes it and taps into the fear of rejection and the paranoia stemming from not being loved enough — or at least not in the way one wants. Such is the case for Aitana (Roser Tapias), who’s visiting her parents for Christmas with partner Gabi (Yapoena Silva) and adopted son in tow. Naturally, she expects a warm welcome but her parents — Dori (Pilar Almería) and Oriol (Álvaro Báguena) — are not excited to see her and are put off by her surprise appearance.
The Thriller Plays Up The Anxiety Of Aitana’s Situation
Writer-directors Marisa Crespo and Moisés Romera build tension through this complex family relationship. Things get especially heated as Aitana learns her parents have taken in Nadia (Anna Kurikka), a refugee-turned-caretaker for Aitana’s brother (Jorge Motos), and are treating her like more of a daughter than their own. Aitana is witness to this and is slowly driven over the edge as she seeks answers from her cagey parents. You Are Not Me is not your typical holiday film. It’s not feel-good or sappy, but the thriller reveals the depth of insecurity and issues that are bubbling just beneath the surface.
There’s something more sinister and, frankly, more interesting going on and it’s smart of the filmmakers to veer away from our expectations.
The thriller movie is deceptively smart in the way it builds suspicion. At first, it’s easy to be convinced the tension that exists between the prodigal daughter and her family is due to her being queer. But we ultimately learn that’s not the case at all. There’s something more sinister and, frankly, more interesting going on and it’s smart of the filmmakers to veer away from our expectations. It dials up the intensity of the situation, which unfolds at a good pace as it begins to answer the very mysteries it poses at the start.
You Are Not Me understands that dysfunctional family dynamics are at the heart of every holiday film, but adds a plethora of refreshing elements to keep things from waning. Whether that’s Dori and Oriol’s bizarre relationship with Nadia or the mysterious dinner party they’re throwing, Crespo and Romera maintain a steady stream of intrigue that had me waiting for the big finale with curiosity.
You Are Not Me’s Themes Are Thought-Provoking
The film’s themes hit hard. The story brings together intriguing characters and relationships but also allows us to ponder on the nature of familial love, its conditions, and the expectations of what is owed because of that love. What the characters are willing to sacrifice to help each other and who they’re willing to push away to protect — by playing into emotional abuse and Aitana’s insecurities — are important aspects of the narrative. Just how far the family is willing to go to avoid hardship, even if it’s at the expense of others, is deeply embedded in the narrative.
At the heart of the story is the very real emotional pain Aitana and her parents have caused each other. While the reveals change the context, they don’t change the fact that the feelings behind what they share with each other are true. Aitana’s suspicion of Nadia and the jealousy she feels over her parents showering her with affection highlights her own fear of losing her family’s love and being replaced. It also unveils her own biases and, by the end, we understand how she’s like her parents.
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You Are Not Me is a heightened psychological thriller that toys with our emotions just as it toys with Aitana’s. It preys on our tendency to believe the worst before we’re proven wrong. I loved that the core of the story involved a layered parent-child dynamic that gets more engaging as it goes. That a supernatural element was thrown in there at the end may have driven the story to its ultimate conclusion but I was happy to continue exploring the push and pull between Aitana and her family just fine without it.
You Are Not Me is now playing in theaters and is available on digital. The film is 98 minutes long and not rated.