Netflix’s latest holiday offering, Our Little Secret, is something of a step back from the streamer’s efforts to go slightly spicier with their rom-com content this season following the shirtless-man-forward releases Hot Frosty and The Merry Gentlemen. The new movie — which follows exes Avery (Lindsay Lohan) and Logan (Ian Harding) as they pretend not to know each other over Christmas when they realize their respective partners are siblings — is a profoundly middle-of-the-road family comedy, minimally edgier than the average Hallmark Christmas movie but without enough texture to rub anybody the wrong way.
Lindsay Lohan is still something of an unknown quantity in Netflix Christmas movies. It seems the platform fully intends to trap her in their holiday snowglobe to the same degree they have with Vanessa Hudgens (the Princess Switch trilogy, The Knight Before Christmas), but before Our Little Secret, her only holiday outing was the charming bit of fluff Falling for Christmas. Her presence doesn’t immediately conjure up ideas of any particular tone yet, not in the way that Hudgens’ more-or-less instantly invokes “over-the-top and/or supernatural high concept,” and this may be partially why it feels so unfocused.
Our Little Secret Is Another Generic, Churned-Out Netflix Rom-Com
It Has Almost No Distinguishing Factors
Unfortunately, the new Lindsay Lohan movie has leaned into the Netflix Christmas movie house style, which is blandness with a side of ugly digital cinematography. Everything is plastered with the same slack, digital sheen as many of the streamer’s modern offerings, with the bonus of having an unnervingly warm tint that makes almost everyone look like they’ve just been dipped in molten gold. The only moment where it truly comes alive visually is the opening sequence, which details Avery and Logan’s backstory in simple 2D animation that evokes the nostalgic watercolors of a children’s picture book.
The setups for the movie’s big comic setpieces… are generally forced…
A compelling script can save a bland or even ugly movie, but Our Little Secret lacks this too. There are too many moving parts involved in throwing Avery and Logan back together, and the movie frequently loses track of them and drops threads, only to pick them back up more than half an hour later to listlessly toy with them again like a bored cat. The setups for the movie’s big comic setpieces (a trip to the vet, forced public speaking while stoned, etc.) are generally forced, hollow, and cliché, requiring an at best lackadaisical approach to understanding human psychology.
Our Little Secret’s Cast Is A Mixed Bag
They Are Both Its Saving Grace & Its Achilles Heel
Thankfully, the latest of Netflix’s 2024 Christmas movies is saved at least somewhat by its star. Lohan delivers a warm, open-hearted performance where it seems she continues to be genuinely excited about being back in front of the camera. She nails the dramatic beats of the screenplay and, while there is not very much comedy to nail, she gives her all to at least imbue it with a sense of charm, something she seems to have been able to do more or less effortlessly since the beginning of her career.
Other than some television appearances and roles in a short film and an indie horror movie, Lohan’s last major role before 2022 was Paul Schrader’s critically panned 2013 movie The Canyons.
Unfortunately, a lot of her good work is hampered by Ian Harding’s character. The Pretty Little Liars star seems to be actively scrambling to find a foothold in the hopelessly milquetoast Logan. Logan infrequently rises above the level of boring, and when he does, it is accomplished with sarcastic line readings that are so obviously cribbed from Ryan Reynolds that they hardly register as a unique performance. As a result, there is a gaping void of chemistry between the two leads that sinks every last bit of potential for Our Little Secret to be satisfying as a romance.
Related
Hot Frosty Review: Netflix’s Attempt At A Spicy Christmas Movie Is As Blandly Sweet As Ever
Netflix’s Hot Frosty attempts to inject some flavor into their traditional Christmas movie formula, but the results are still generically saccharine.
Thankfully, the movie has an ace up its sleeve in the form of Kristin Chenoweth, who plays the judgmental mother of Avery’s boyfriend. Their Crazy Rich Asians-esque mother-and-potential-daughter-in-law dynamic sizzles with conflict and even manages to wring a few laughs from the script. Scrubs‘ Judy Reyes also has a standout moment in a supporting role, but at the end of the day, while Our Little Secret passes the time just fine when Chenoweth and Lohan are butting heads, it has nothing to offer that hasn’t been done better by even the most insipid of Netflix Christmas rom-coms.
Our Little Secret is available to stream on Netflix on November 27. The film is 99 minutes long and rated TV-14 for language and substances.
- Lindsay Lohan, Kristin Chenoweth, and Judy Reyes deliver reliably good performances.
- The romantic leads have very little chemisty.
- The aesthetic generally ranges from bland to ugly.
- The plot has too many moving parts for such a simple story.